When I looked back on the past year of my life and the complete lack of meaningful romantic interaction, I came up with a few ideas as to why I can't seem to land a date.
Reason 1: I'm a weird age
I'm 25. That's a weird age to be right now. Young guys don't wanna talk to anyone over 24 and older guys don't wanna talk to anyone under 30. I'm in that weird twenty-something stage where no one is sure if I'm completely immature or if I've gotten all the crazy out of my system yet. Lots of people my age that I know (between the ages of 25-29) are experiencing the same thing. Let me just say that a person's age is not always an indicator of maturity. It can be a factor, yes, but it's not always.
Reason 2: I can't drive
You heard me. The gay loser can't drive. Why can't I drive? I never learned. Why haven't I learned? Well, I can't answer that concretely. As of right now, a car is not financially viable for me, nor is it necessarily needed. It takes me four minutes to walk to work, five to walk to the grocery store, and I'm literally surrounded by everything I need, barring any serious emergencies. The problem with wanting to date when you don't drive or have a car is that everyone assumes you're a deadbeat. Sure, it means they'll have to pick me up to hang out or for a date, but is that so horrible? Isn't that what people do anyway? And I usually try to make up for it by always paying, whether it be dinner, a movie, etc. If I can't drive you to your fun, I at least try to pay for it. Does that sound like a deadbeat to you?
Reason 3: I'm a homebody
I grew up very, very quickly. By the time I was 18, I had drank, smoked, done drugs, gone to clubs, and lived quite dangerously for someone so young. I became a homebody at an age when most people are beginning to branch out and try those things. Now, don't mistake "homebody" for "hermit". I like to go out and do things. But I'm much more into spending evenings at home, preferably with someone I'm courting. We can watch movies, play games, or maybe (JUST MAYBE) hold a conversation. It's hard to find someone who doesn't want to be everywhere and do everything under the sun. I like to be low key. But if the opportunity for something fun comes along (the fair, a movie, a concert, etc.), you bet your sweet bippy I'm gonna go! I just like to be at home more than most.
Reason 4: I don't make a ton of money
I work in retail. I make 9 bucks an hour for 25 hours of work per week. That doesn't translate into a lot of extra money for me. So I have a tiny apartment, an outdated phone, an ancient computer, and I'm pretty sure I've been wearing the same shirt for a week now. I don't have the best job, the fanciest clothes, the nicest apartment, or any status symbols. I'm just a guy who works and pays his bills. Is that so bad? I've never cared about that. If someone wants to take me to McDonald's for a first date, I would welcome that with open arms. It's all about the company and the chemistry. Why do we as daters think we need to spend an inordinate amount of money to impress people? It's silly.
Reason 5: I'm not that cute
Don't get me wrong; I don't think I'm a total gargoyle. But I'm no male model by any stretch of imagination. I'm just a guy who's decidedly average. I have some skin imperfections, I have an extra pound here and there, and I'm short. The dating game is an attractive person's game, and if it's decided that you're not attractive, you're not worth dating. I guess the reason I don't understand this is because I have such a wide range of attractions. Sure, there are traits I find enticing, but they are by no means a requirement. I'm the kind of person that can walk into a room and find something attractive about everyone. So it's hard for me to fathom dating based solely on the idea of physical appearance, especially when that's no indicator to someone's personality or compatibility with you.
Reason 6: I won't have sex on the first date (or second, or third, and so on...)
The older I get, the more I really desire company over sex. I define dating as seeing a lot of different people and making a decision as to which one of them might be a suitable long term mate. Once I decide who that person is and make a commitment to them, that's when we can...ya know. But before that? Not for this guy. Not anymore. There's too many emotions and too many chances for hurt feelings that come with casual sex and I refuse to put myself through that again. Once we progress past dating, then we can talk about that. Until then, let's just enjoy each other's company. Because I don't know you that well yet. I'm no prude, I have just set standards for myself that need to be respected if I'm to spend time with you.
That about sums me up.
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