Plenty Of Fish? Plenty Of Crap.

Let's face it. At one time or another, most of us have turned to the Internet to find love, a date, or even a simple romp in the sheets. And I'm here to say that I'm done with it. Today, I'm in the process of cancelling every membership I have on every dating site or app. And here's why.

Reason 1: Everybody's just after sex.
It's no secret that the gay culture is a very sexual one. Most sites and apps geared towards men meeting men are so driven by sex that it's hard for an Average Gay Joe like myself to find an actual date. I'll admit to having quite a wild past, but I am not a promiscuous man. That being said, I'm also not a prude. I'm just the kind of person who would rather take someone to the movies than to my bed. The older I get (which is strange to say, because I'm only 25), the more I am interested in a person's mind, goals, dreams for the future, and outlook on life. I'm looking for a potential partner, not just one-night stands. And on most dating sites and apps, that all there seems to be. It's frustrating.

Reason 2: People are so deceptive!
Have you ever agreed to meet someone you met online only to realize that they look nothing like their picture? Or maybe there was a detail of their life (occupation, living situation) that they left out or embellished upon? Honesty on these websites is hard to find. Less-than-desirable traits are usually omitted from most profiles (and omission is form of lying in my book). I can understand why, though. You want to make a good impression. So we use only the best pictures (sometimes Photoshopped) and the best information (sometimes embellished). I, on the other hand, prefer people to see me as I really am. Everyone on these sites try so hard to look like uber-successful supermodels that a guy like me who just tries to look like himself gets overlooked. So I take pictures that really look like me and I offer REAL information. If I don't get any hits because of that, so be it.

Reason 3: People are flat-out mean.
"If you ask me, you're pretty pathetic." That was the last message I received before I began cancelling all my subscriptions and profiles. I don't know when it became so fashionable to be so mean, but it seems to be. If someone isn't your cup of tea, there are much better ways to tell them you're not interested. You don't have to be mean about it. There are tons of reasons I get rejected: I'm not the thinnest guy in the world, I don't have a car, I don't have a great paying job, and I don't live in some fancy condo. The person I quoted earlier made that comment when I told him these things. Do I not deserve to court someone because I can't drive? Do I not deserve to be an object of affection because I make $9 an hour? And even if I don't, you can be polite about it instead of putting me down about something I'm already self-conscious about.

Reason 4: It's just not as meaningful.
Maybe I've seen one too many rom-coms. Maybe I've been spoiled by teen dramas and Jennifer Aniston. But I'd much more prefer to meet someone in person. I'd like to be shopping in the grocery store and bump into someone. Oh, we buy the same kind of cereal? What a conversation starter! I wish we could go back to the old days where it took more effort to find someone than just signing up on a website. It takes the thrill and the meaning out of it. Sure, it makes it a little easier. But reasons 3, 2, and 1 are reason enough for me to long for the way it used to be.